BECAUSE LIFE GETS RAGGEDY
Articles + essays about and inspired by grief and loss
Crowdsourced stories about love and healing and mourning and transitions
More from the griefKit:
“9 Reasons It Is Not Crazy To Grieve A Celebrity Death” by Litsa Williams [What’s Your Grief]
“Like so many things in grief, there are lots of reasons and no clear rules. Some people feel intense emotions around a celebrity death, others feel nothing.”
“After my Sister Died, I Became Holey” by Jessica Yaeger [Manifestation Station]
“Something I hadn’t fully considered was that without my sister Vanessa, the dynamic of every other relationship I had would be changed and challenged, too.”
“Black Women Get Real About Grief” by Kirsten West Savali [Essence]
“I took my husband Savali’s last breath with him on December 17, 2018, and I haven’t exhaled since. The pain has pushed past vital organs and settled deep into my bones now.”
“Chinese Cooking Helps Me Connect With My Mother—And Helps Me Prepare to Lose Her” by Nicole Zhu [Electric Literature]
“Michelle Zauner’s memoir "Crying in H Mart" showed me how bonding over food could let me cope with anticipatory grief”
“Coping with the loss of a pet” [American Veterinary Medical Association]
By physically showing your grief, you actively mourn the death of your beloved pet. This active mourning helps move you on a journey toward reconciling with the loss of your pet.
“Does My Son Know You?” by Jonathan Tjarks [The Ringer]
“I have already told some of my friends: When I see you in heaven, there’s only one thing I’m going to ask—Were you good to my son and my wife? Were you there for them? Does my son know you?”
“Embracing Grief” by Sobonfu Somé [Sobonfu.com]
“For many people grief is an option. Looking at my own life, I realized it is a matter of life and death.”
“Every Time You Go Away” by Ruemara [Balloon Juice]
“The loss of a parent brings a finality to your childhood that even growing your first set of greys doesn’t. Parents are permanent, right? Not so fast, says time.”
“Families Strengthened Through the Grieving Process” by M. Sue Bergin
From her 10 years as a hospice chaplain and bereavement counselor, author Sue Bergin shares this list of what to do—or not do—to support grieving friends or family.
“‘Grief has the power to pull us from the people we are close to’: How to love someone in their darkest moments” by Alanna Duffield [Cosmopolitan]
“You know, the world doesn’t stop turning just for you.”
I am sitting in the stairwell of my old work building, crying, as the head of HR says this to me.
“Grief Is Evidence of Love” by Kellie Carter Jackson [The Atlantic]
Yes, mourning is an acknowledgment of loss. But the late scholar bell hooks argued that it is also a way of honoring our commitment to those who have died.
“He Was An Architect: Little Richard and blackqueer grief” by Ashon Crawley [NPR]
But sometimes the possible is also the occasion for sadness. Sometimes the possible, and even the implemented, is the occasion for grief.
(griefKit articles + essays continue below)
“To be loving is to be open to grief, to be touched by sorrow, even sorrow that is unending.”
bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions
“In Ghana, Funerals Are A Party. But My Dad's Couldn't Hold My Grief” by Leonie Owiredu [Harper’s Bazaar]
Leonie Owiredu lost her father when she was young. His funeral was a loud celebration, full of family and friends, in keeping with Ghanaian custom. But in all that noise, she didn't have the space she needed to grieve him.
“'Left to hold my grief alone.' Grieving platonic love in a culture of romantic domination.” by Sherronda J. Brown [Scalawag Magazine]
Here I am again, left to cobble these pieces back together, left to hold my grief alone.
“Life After Death: Remembering the Notorious B.I.G.’s Legendary Funeral Procession” by Miles Marshall Lewis [Complex]
"It became what I imagine he would’ve wanted. It was a beautiful moment, people just losing their minds."
“Loss Loop” by Tara Campbell [Jellyfish Review]
After dwindling health and doctors and Hospice and kids flying in from across the country, my sister and I, one on each side of our mother’s bed, held her hands as she inhaled and exhaled, inhaled and exhaled, inhaled and exhaled and exhaled and exhaled and exhaled…
“Mourning My Mother with Lemon Cake" by Alexis McCowan [Food & Wine]
This will be the first cake that I will eat without sharing a piece with my mother.
“On Riding the Waves of Grief” by Tonja Renée Stidhum [The Root]
In a split second, I felt like I was drowning.
“On Witness and Respair: A Personal Tragedy Followed by Pandemic” by Jesmyn Ward [Vanity Fair]
Without his hold to drape around my shoulders, to shore me up, I sank into hot, wordless grief.
“My dog died two months ago. Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.” [USA Today]
Bigler describes pet loss as a disenfranchised grief, or "a type of grief that isn't really openly acknowledged or socially mourned or publicly supported." Miscarriages and divorces, she says, also fall into this category.
“Processing Grief Through the Afro-Indigenous Spiritual Practices Hoodoo and Ifa” by Michael-Michelle Pratt [Vogue]
I inquired about the basis of the reading, and she explained that it was a spiritual practice called hoodoo.
“Sweet and Sour Christmas: A Recipe” by Tara Campbell [Matter Press]
Advance Preparation:
Cave to self-imposed pressure to fly across the country to see family for the holidays again, despite your desire to stay home.
“This Is a Family Reunion. There Just Happens to Be a Casket.” by Darnell Lamont Walker [hello darnell]
“We gotta stop only getting together at funerals.”